One More Time

How is everyone today? Hopefully all is well. I want to bypass pleasantries in this issue and get straight to business on this one. In this edition of Gentleman's Quarterly I plan to revisit some of my larger talking points one by one and explain how I have come to each of these conclusions. Also, I want to make sure that everyone knows why I have chosen gentlemanly affairs as my most talked about subject. Then, I will conclude by comparing and contrasting the outcomes associated with being outside the gentleman's circle of trust. But first please watch this video in this LINK.

Now, if you did not click the link you may be confused by this next statement. Whatever happened to using charm and wits to achieve your goals and assist you in your ambitions? It has been replaced by instant gratification and self promotion that is the answer. Before, maybe I wrote each issue too vaguely. Now, I will show you what type of information is good, and where you can use creative license to "deviate from the doctrine". Each situation is different and knowing yourself is half the battle. So, with all the ado that I just wrote about and probably still more to come I present Gentleman's Quarterly part V.

Before, I made the comment

"It is not cool to be a gentleman anymore. Mostly, its not even accepted as normal anymore either."

To explain this situation I am going to ask the ladies a question. When is the last time you met a guy whom you would consider a gentleman? Did you make a note of this situation? I am sure that you were surprised and probably thought of what his parents, school, or religion may have taught him. Maybe you think that gentleman are synonymous with the Tri-Lambdas from This Link. And you really could care less, all you need is a thug in your life. Although you may be convinced that you are more suited for Young Jeezy than you are for John Cusack you can't ignore some simple facts. 1. By default a person who lives by the sword or an agressive lifestyle is destined to receive his rewards and punishments by that means.(i.e. The gun will take his life) 2. Although you may want a confident and independent man who lives by his own rules, I am sure there will be a time you want someone who listens a little deeper. 3. The gentleman's needs and wants are always growing as he knows he is not just one man looking for one woman he is bigger than himself or his selfish desires. So, as a segue I would like to pose another situational circumstance. Maybe the gender roles have changed to the point that women and men alike want mates who can encompass the best traits from both sexes.....


According to Wikipedia.org

In ancient India, women are believed to have enjoyed equal status with men in all fields of life. Ancient Hindu scriptures describe a good wife as "a woman whose mind, speech and body are kept in subjection, acquires high renown in this world, and, in the next, the same abode with her husband." In ancient Athens women were always minors and subject to a male, such as their father, brother or some other male kin. A woman's consent in marriage was not generally thought to be necessary and women were obliged to submit to the wishes of her parents or husband. Early in the Republic women were subject to Manus Marriage, but the custom died out by the Late Republic in favor of marriage without Manus which did not grant the husband any rights over his wife. When married without Manus a woman was not only free of her husbands legal authority, but could divorce him as she pleased without any reason required. Women in Ancient Rome when no longer under the control of their Pater Familias could and did contract, work for wages (usually without many other options), own property, and perform some (but not all) legal functions.

This history, as well as the feminist movement---- as defined by Nancy Cott as the belief in the importance of gender equality, invalidating the idea of gender hierarchy as a socially constructed concept. Has contributed to the modern American woman you may or may not be sitting next to right now. Basically they ARE EMPOWERED GET OVER IT!!!! Let me take a second to explain, I never wrote this with the intention of helping people "hook up". I also never said I was talking to any men other than gentlemen(toughguys, wiseguys, soldiers, regular joes) about any women other than ladies(demure, genteel, respectful, tasteful). And how to make real connections with each other(i.e. friendships, relationships, and social networks). My examples are limited but you will know by this test. If you are a guy who has never been in at least one fight, verbal or otherwise, you probably don't fit the criteria. If you are a female who doesn't remember the first and last name of every partner you have been with or you chew tobacco(had to use that one), you definitely don't fit the criteria. So, to my guy friends remember "consider your audience" when you are dealing with the modern American woman. In 1920, you may have been able to impress a girl by driving a car because she wasn't able to. Needless to say, the standards have been raised in general which means you wont be able to "run game". In this day in age you are better off telling your potential suitor the truth. However, all good performances have some element of illusion involved. So, flare and charisma are definitely pluses.

Now, in the past I put emphasis on the wingman because after all what are friends for? I recently had a female friend who was well above the legal limit tell me she wanted to drive home. Now, as a man I thought I was placed in an awkward position and I am sure that is apparent. However, as a gentleman my test in the situation was perfectly easy to handle. Don't leave with her, but let her leave, don't let her drive, but make sure she is driven home safely. And, 1,2,3 just like that it was settled and everyone was still friends in the end. So, in essence I was a wingman for a woman. Now don't let your head explode just yet I just wanted to point that out. But, would you rather me leave you hanging? It all comes down to want you want and what you need. From there how much do you want those things. If you want to dress up as the gimp and be whipped and stomped by high heels my scope of practice doesn't quite reach. But, talking to girls should become easier from reading these if not I will keep them coming. Love truly does conquer all, and you have to be willing to say "Fuck Fear"! Because Time Heals all Wounds....

As a plus I want to compare a little old school charm versus new school swagger, right! So, as an international team player who has his swagger so right he can charm you right out of your wallet(if you're a man) and panties(if you're a woman) I want to be extremely concise in differentiating. Swagger is one tiny, minute, esoteric cog in the male mojo charm machine. A man who walks and talks with all the swagger plus pomp and circumstance could easily have very little charm. Example, how many times have you met a guy who seemed to talk about having it all but, when exposed below the surface was very little intelligence or ambition. That is one of the easiest traits to come by is swagger because all you have to do is "feel yourself". Now, before I explain charm I want to define two things. According to wikipedia.org

A gentlemen's agreement is an informal agreement between two or more parties. It may be written, oral, or simply understood as part of an unspoken agreement by convention or through mutually beneficial etiquette. The essence of a gentlemen's agreement is that it relies upon the honor of the parties for its fulfillment, rather than being in any way enforceable (by the government). It is, therefore, distinct from a legal agreement or contract, which can be enforced if necessary.

Webster's describes a confidence-man(or con man) as someone who gains the confidence of someone to complete his game or trick. So, in essence a gentleman and a con-man are almost synonymous because they use informal methods to gain the confidence of others to create connections. Charm as it seems comes from both within and outside. You are just born with it, or raised into a family of charming people. You can walk and talk ridiculously and still be a completely charming individual so it is in no way like swagger. It encompasses all that makes up a man or woman it is not fly by night at all. It is longevity in the flesh and baby I got the most.....

But I'm still sad that she's gone......